this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
