his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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