went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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