Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize