I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
