Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
