when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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