I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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