'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize