Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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