I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Everyone says I win the strip club
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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