I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
