I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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