Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
