i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
