Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.

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(770): View more from Georgia

i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"

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(519): View more from Ontario

I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.

(519): View more from Ontario

She did the bend and snap...

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(801): View more from Utah

He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...

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(716): View more from New York

do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.

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(210): View more from Texas

Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question

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(325): View more from Texas

Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.

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