Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
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Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
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Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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