You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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