Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
