i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
