i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize