i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
