Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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