There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just invented taco cereal.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
