sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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