But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
