So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Randomize
