apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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