break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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