This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
