So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
