are you still at the devil's house?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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