we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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