she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
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I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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