TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
