So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
