he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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