I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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