im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
