Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
You can't motorboat a personality
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
