So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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