Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
