Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
should my penis look like a turkey
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
