i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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