Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
