me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
