We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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