Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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