sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
