I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
