i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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