bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
