Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
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he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
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I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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