How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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