He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
