How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
