It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
