he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
