Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
